An Erotic Story for Jane

One of my favorite masturbation muses is a lady named Jane.  Just shy of her 53rd birthday, Jane is a blue-eyed beauty who I have followed on several picture and video sharing sites for more than 14 years.  I masturbate to Jane probably as much as I masturbate over anyone. It is always so pleasurable to masturbate to Jane She is the real deal - an online performer who loves to masturbate and loves to turn people on.

Yesterday, on her OnlyFans site, she asked her subscribers to send her a fantasy scenario - A romantic or erotic place, a description of the sights and sounds, what we did previously to our arrival there, what we do there, and any details. My story is rather long and might be difficult to read on Jane's message page, so I am posting it here. Besides, I have not posted here for a while and owe you some masturbation stories.  I really liked writing this one, and I masturbated the whole time thinking about my beautiful masturbation friend, Jane.  Here it is:

Jane, it is springtime and you and I had spent the afternoon walking hand-in-hand through the sandy streets of an Outer Banks village near the beach.  We are in summer clothes – very revealing and loose – and are enjoying the fresh warmth of our favorite season.

At about 6pm, two hours before sunset, we retire to a blanket on a remote part of the beach. We have a picnic basket with fruits and snacks, and some of our favorite beer and wine to sip.  It will still be light for almost more two hours, and the light is soft and romantic.  The rumble of the sea on the shore is music to our ears.  We laugh and recount our day in the village. I look into your beautiful blue eyes. You remind me we met on a photo sharing site and became buddies from there.  I add that yes, we are buddies – masturbation buddies.  We laugh as we both feel our sexual urges – lurking since our fingers first touched today – begin to make our loins tingle. You remind me that we both love to be naked.

“We are the only ones here,” you say as we both look around, the breeze off the water gently rippling our skimpy clothes.

“This beach is known for nudity,” I reply as our eyes lock and we smile at each other.

Almost automatically, we begin to slowly disrobe.  It will not take long because we are not wearing much, but we stare into each other’s blue eyes and become completely naked. We are now facing each other on the blanket with our legs spread, loving each other with our eyes, feeling the soft early-evening sunshine and the ocean breeze, enjoying being naked together.

Almost instinctively, our fingers reach for our own genitals. We begin to play with ourselves, watching each other.

“Oh, Jane,” I moan. “It is so nice to get naked here with you on this beautiful beach and masturbate with you.  You giggle and bite your lip and you watch me fondle my growing cock.

We masturbate together like this for about ten more minutes, occasionally moaning.  My penis is oozing precum, and your vagina is coating your fingers with slippery love juice and you fondled the mound around your clit and labia.  I reach over and touch your pretty bare foot, and you lift it toward me.  I first lick, then suck on your long and sexy toes, one at a time.  You moan louder, and your fingers work your pussy and clitoral area harder and harder.  I am even more turned-on hearing the “squish, squish” of those beautiful fingers working your increasingly sopping wet loins I turn my oral attention to the other foot, making sure all your pretty toes get the same treatment.

“Tim,” you say, almost choking with masturbatory pleasure. “Your cock looks so hard.  Do you enjoy pumping it when you look at me?” 

I nod as I continue so suckle your toes and pump my engorges manhood at the same time.

After a few more minutes, I change my position and begin working up the inside of your legs, kissing one side, then the other, and running my tongue along your lovely, translucent skin. I reach the mound of your smooth, shaved pussy, and I inhale the scent of your feminine sexuality. Kissing your pubic area, I begin moving my lips of your clitoris, gently sucking, kissing and licking the area around your hardness.  You moan even louder than before, and my face is begin drenched by your womanly lubricant.

“Jane, you taste so good,” I gasp as I come up for air.

“Oh Tim, don’t stop”

Your hand pushes my head down for more oral delight. All the while, I keep one hand on my penis, lovingly pumping it, going up and down using my pre-cum as a lube, enjoying the pleasure of being with my favorite masturbation muse.

I sense you are ready to cum, so I ease up a bit, moving my head back to lick and kiss your thighs.  You gasp, “Oh my,” and are breathing sooo heavily.

At about the same time, we notice two figures standing about 30 feet away off to my left. It is an attractive middle-aged couple we crossed paths with in town a couple of times this afternoon. We had smiled at them, and they smiled back as we ate lunch at a table not far from ours. Dressed summery and skimpily as were we, they are the sunkissed type that you often find in a place like this; here to enjoy the remote nude beaches, laid back atmosphere, and sexual undercurrent that this stretch of coast fosters.

"You don’t mind if we watch?” Said the cute woman. “We think you are such an attractive couple.”

You and I look at each other and smile. “Not at all,” you say, beaming at this lovely pair. “We love being watched.”

I put my head back between your legs, my tongue working your sopping mound even more feverishly as it finds the inside of your vagina.  You give up all pretense of trying to stifle your cries and moans, and the wind carries your voice down the beach. My fingers slide deep into your love tunnel and I investigate the top, finding your G-spot. You quiver, very close to orgasm.

It is at this point that I think we are ready for the next evolution of our sex-buddy and exhibitionistic session.  I pull up onto my knees, penis pointing hard and skyward. “I’m going to fuck you, Jane,” I gasp. Your beautiful and firm breasts heave with your breathing as you nod in anticipation.

I glance to my left at our cute voyeuristic couple.  They have stripped off their cover-ups and swimsuits and are both masturbating as they watch. Their naked bodies touching as they breath in unison, their arms are linked and each has their hands on the genitals. They are watching our sexual beauty, and it is quite beautiful to us to know we are entertaining them this way

I begin kissing your tummy, working my way to your wonderful breasts.  Your wet fingers had been squeezing them while I ate you, and I can taste your juices as I suckle your hard nipples. Your moaning is as beautiful as the music of the sea rolling on the nearby shore. Move up your neck, I continue to kiss until I reach your earlobe. I begin to suck, and move to kiss and suckle your entire ear. You giggle as I do this. I want to service your other ear, and as I shift, I press my hard penis against your pussy mound, not entering you, but pressing against your love button.

“Ohhhhh! This is so good!”

“You are so good, Jane,” I gasp as I work the other side of your pretty head.

Finally, I push up on my hands and stare into your pretty blue eyes. I begin guiding my penis into you.  We are both so lubed and slippery, it does not take much effort to fill you with my sexual love. As I enter you, you moan, as do I.  Our voyeuristic friends, the cute middle-aged couple, has moved a bit closer.  They are moaning and crying out, too.

“Oh, this is beautiful,” she moans as she works her fingers between her legs

“So…so good,” the man chokes out as his engorged penis is pleasured by his left hand, his right hand caressing his own testicles.

I am now fully inside you, Jane.  Our eyes lock as we begin our rhythmic fucking. I lean down and we kiss. Our tongues swirl and investigate each other as I share the taste of your juices still on my lips. I’m not sure who is moaning louder, you or I.

We fuck like this for about 20 more minutes, alternately kissing and looking down our bodies to our loving loins, enjoying the view and the feeling the way only two dear fuck-buddies can.

“I want you to fuck me from behind,” you gasp as you stare into my eyes.  I nod, withdraw, and watch as you get on all fours. I am fingering my hard and slippery cock because I want to get all the enjoyment I can out of your beautiful naked body. Our naked friends moan a little more, and I see as I look over that they are now mutually masturbating, servicing each other as they enjoy the show we are so gladly giving them.

I move closer to you, spreading the bottom of your pretty ass to get the best access to your warm, wet and wonderful pleasure muscle.  I enter you so easily and begin fucking you hard, as hard as I have for this fuck session.  My full balls are slapping your clitoral area and you are practically screaming in pleasure.

“Oh, Tim!  Fuck me harder!  HARDER!”

I oblige, and it is all I can do from keep shooting my large and warm load of semen deep into you.  I want to hold off and make this last as long as possible. After fucking doggie-style for ten minutes, I sense you are very close to having an orgasm. 

“I want to see your face Jane,” I gasp. “I want to see your beautiful face when you cum.”

You flip over onto your back, and my cock pops out of your pussy, spraying juices that land on your belly and down the inside of your already wet thigh. I slide my cock back into you, missionary style, and lean on my hands to have the best view of your pretty face and breasts.  I am fucking you soooo hard now, Jane.  Our eyes lock, and I feel your vagina contracting as you squeal and buck. You are like a filly that is being broken and wants to throw her rider, except your pussy has grabbed my dick in its firm embrace and will not let go.  I struggle not to cum.

Finally, your extended orgasm ends.  Your breathing is deep and heavy, you and wimper.

Our pretty, new friend almost shouts, “That was beautiful!”

“When will YOU cum,” the man addresses me as his partner’s slender fingers work his hard dick.

“What would you like, Jane?” I look down at you as I continue to hump your wet tunnel.  Shall I fill you with my semen or would you like me to cover you with my sticky love?”

“Let me wrap my fingers around you and make you cum all over me!” You glance to your right and smile at our two friends who are still enjoying their manual lovemaking session and our show. “I think I know what will turn these lovely people on even more.” Your smile as you say this is so warm and sensual.

I gently slide my penis out of your vagina and straddle your torso, just below your breasts.  Your pretty and slender fingers glide up and down my pole.  I move forward and begin fucking your breasts, the juices spreading all over the insides of these beautiful mammaries.

Before this lovemaking session ends, I want to feel the pleasure of your mouth and tongue, so I push my cock toward your face.  You climb onto your elbows and take my cock into your mouth.  I moan loudly with pleasure, knowing lots of my precum and some of my cum is leaking out.  Vigorously, your mouth works my meat.  I struggle to hold back an orgasm.

“Oh, Tim,” You say as you stop to take a breath. “You taste and feel so good.”

“We both taste and feel so good!” We laugh as we glance to our sides, as our naked, friendly couple has moved to within just feet of us, now sitting on the edge of our blanket. Their eyes are riveted to us as they pleasure each other.

“Let’s give them the salute,” you say as your pretty left hand begins sliding up and down my hard manhood.  Your right hand finds the underside of my balls and you gently squeeze.  It does not take long.  I let out a loud moan as my penis begins spurting the contents of my testicles all over your pretty face, onto your lips, and across your white, firm breasts. My orgasm is tremendous.  I collapse on top of you and we kiss deeply.

“Oh, you are wonderful,” we hear the woman say, and we look up and smile at her and her man.  Pre-cum is oozing from his hard member, and we can see both their hands glistening with each other’s masturbatory juices in the magic-hour light.

A peculiar smile comes across your face as you address our friends: “If you can hold off cumming, would you return the favor? We have the stamina to cum again and would LOVE to watch you. I was thinking about that when we saw you at lunch.”

Their eyes widen.  “Oh, yes” they say almost in unison. “We would love that!”

You look up at me and wink.  I smile back and nod.

I hope you enjoy this story, dear readers, and I hope you are reaching for yourself and enjoying some pleasure from this story.  Even more, I hope all of us get to play out this fantasy for real with a spouse, significant other, or dear friend the next time we are in a laid-back beach town.  I think there are more of us masturbators lurking in such places than anyone realizes.

 

A Dream About an Asian Masturbation Muse

 

The first thing you should know is I’m here totally naked, lovingly masturbating my penis to a beautiful Asian MILF friend of mine.  It’s a beautiful session I’m enjoying while my wife is out of the house 

My favorite masturbation muses are women I know. Most of them are actually good friends of either my wife or myself, or both of us. I enjoy their smiles, their sexy asses, their legs and feet, and just generally the fantasies that swirl around them in my mind. 

Chin-Zen is one of those muses. She’s an American, but her parents were both born in China. About 5’3″ and 115-pounds. Black hair to her collar, and nice ass and cute legs and feet. Her smile is so sweet, with hardly a hint of her 52 years showing up in faint lines on her face. She’s a MILF with two school age children.

I had met her husband, Jack, a year or so before I ever met Chin-Zen. I finally met her one night when my wife Cheryl and I were at some cocktail party and Jack and Chin-Zen were there. She had on this cute, very short cocktail dress and high-heel sandals. The first thing I thought of when I saw her? I’ve got to masturbate to her!”

When we got home that night, I wanted to masturbate and think nothing of Chin-Zen while I masturbated. Cheryl wanted to fuck so I reluctantly agreed, but it was more like masturbating in her vagina because all I was thinking about was Chin-Zen. I had to bite my tongue to keep from call out her name.

Cheryl knows how much of a masturbator I am, but I better get her name right during sex!

That was about 16 or 17 years ago. Since then, we two couples have been very good friends. We live about an hour apart, so don’t see each other more than a few times per year, but we always have an enjoyable time with Jack and ChinZen. Cheryl or I always manage to take some pictures, and I often use those in my masturbation sessions. Chin-Zen in shorts, Chin-Zen in a swimsuit, Chin-Zen in a sexy dress, Chin-Zen just smiling at the camera; all give me so much pleasure during masturbation.

To be honest, I haven’t masturbated to Chin-Zen much in the past couple of years. Why? Well, we just haven’t seen her and her husband that often. Out of site, out of mind.

 So why am I sitting here now, naked, with my cock in my hand and moaning Chin-Zen’s name while I gaze at her pics?

Chin-Zen figured twice in dreams I had last night. In the first, we met her and Jack somewhere, and Chin-Zen and I were fiddling with our cameras. I kept thinking, “Mmmm..I’m going to get some more pictures of her.” I woke up before that dream went any further.

After I fell back to sleep, I dreamt that I was visiting Jack in a condo or apartment they were renting. Cheryl showed up a little later, and we all started talking about what we would do when Chin-Zen arrived. I don’t remember exactly what was said, but there was an air of sexual expectation.

The three of us had changed into night-clothes. For me, this was underwear and a white terry-cloth robe. Jack and Cheryl had something similar. We lounged around waiting for Chin-Zen. Sheryl and I cuddled on a chair, my cock stiffening at the thought of my Chinese-American friend’s arrival.

 Soon, we decided we would lay on the bed to wait. The three of us were kind of draped over each other. I kept thinking about what would happen when Chin-Zen arrived. We would all probably get naked. She would see the hard cock that I pump while thinking about her. I might get to masturbate in front of her and the group. Perhaps we would do a foursome. Or a threesome in various configurations, with one of us masturbating while watching  the other three groping, sucking, and fucking.

For some reason, I got up and checked through the window for Chin-Zen.  When I went back to the bed, Jack and Cheryl were up but getting more comfortable.  They stripped off their robes and laid back down in their underwear.

 My cock was raging-hard at this time, and I took a chance.  Off came the robe and my underwear!  My heart beat as I was naked before them, my masturbator’s penis pointing skyward.  As I climbed on the bed, Jack and Cheryl followed my cue.  Off came the undies, and the three of us lay there naked.  I rubbed my cock against Cheryl, while Jack lay next to us awaiting his wife.  I didn’t want him to feel left out, and I thought about reaching over to fondle his cock.  (A true masturbator always is willing to help another masturbator, regardless of their sex.)  I wasn’t sure how well this would be received, so I just placed a hand on Jack’s thigh.  He didn’t seem to mind. 

 Alas, we were waiting for Godot.  Chin-Zen never arrived, and I woke up very horny. Cheryl was still sleeping beside me, and I gently pumped my cock as not to wake her. She finally got up, dressed and went out to meet a girlfriend.  I raced to the computer, pulled up pictures of a smiling, scantily clad Chin-Zen and have been here in blissful masturbation ever since.

I’m about to cum now.  This feels so good I could do it all day, but I’m trying to be a responsible masturbator and not give into my addiction.   I waste enough time overdoing my wanking.  I’m going to enjoy my muse a few more minutes, have a nice, long orgasm over Chin-Zen then get on with my day.

 However, you can bet that the sexy Asian MILF Chin-Zen will be back in my masturbation muse rotation for quite a while!

Seeing Jessa Louise for the First Time in Nearly Nine Years

 

It was July 3^rd.  I recognized her sexy, slender form and the outline of her pretty face under her Covid mask shortly after I walked into the grocery store. Her short, light brown hair was the same as I remember.  Her legs slender but slightly muscled.  Her feet feminine yet powerful in her summer flip-flops.  Looking at her from her sexy, long toes up to her pretty eyes made my cock twitch.  I had not seen her in-person in almost nine years, but it was unmistakably her.  It was Jessa Louise.  

I had first met Jessa Louise back in 1992.  She was a 28-year-old mother of two, and I was a 31-year-old sports anchor on a local TV station. In this market, amateur men’s and women’s softball was a big deal back then.  It drew crowds, and we always featured big games and feature stories on the news.  I had gone to a local field to see two women’s teams play.  I was a little unfamiliar with both teams, so after the game I asked someone if they had an opinion of who would be a good interview subject.  “Talk to Jessa Louise,” they told me.  “She just had a baby a couple of months ago, so that will be interesting.”

I had noticed Jessa Louise during the game.  She was about 5’5” tall, slender but slightly muscled in an athletic, sexy way.  I followed her sexy legs from her lovely calves up to her cute little ass as she swayed at the plate and ran around the bases.  I watched her hustle in right field and throw out base runners with athletic grace.  My cock stiffened for her.  I knew I had found a new masturbation muse.

I was delighted to talk to Jessa Louise after the game.  She was really cute.  Definitely a county girl with a bit of a hillbilly drawl, her ears stuck out of her short haircut.  She was so nervous about our on-camera interview I thought she might turn and run, but she stayed and did a fine job.  I managed to make her smile, and I loved the way her pretty face slightly creased as she upturned her lips.  I was totally charmed by this young mother of a two-month-old and a ten-year-old. That night, when I was alone in the TV station, I replayed the tape in a locked editing booth and pulled out my cock to masturbate to her sexy images on the screen. When I got home that evening, I masturbated again to visions of her slender and sexy body, and of her pretty face, and to the sound of her lilting country voice.

I ended up becoming friends with Jessa Louise.  Every time our paths crossed we would smile and wave, then stop and talk. She was fun, a little bit goofy and ditsy, but also strong, and a leader.  She was her league’s vice president for a while, then the president.  I got to watch her older daughter grow up into a very lovely young woman, and her youngest daughter, the one born just before we met, become a teen.  Jessa Louise ended up become a go-to person for me when I needed help with softball history in our area or help finding guests.  I had such a good time with her and valued her help and company so much, that I asked her to occasionally be the co-host of a half-hour sports show I produced and hosted. 

As the years rolled by, my masturbation over Jessa Louise increased.  Except over the winter months when I didn’t see her much, I usually saw her in shorts, tank top, and flip-flops. During her game days she wore her team’s uniform of sleeveless jersey, shorts and cleats.  After games she would always change into flip-flops or sandals, and I would go home with her pretty vision dancing in my head for the evening’s masturbation session. My favorite masturbation sessions have always been over my female friends, and I have usually have a list of five or six I think about every time I masturbate.  For years, Jessa Louise was always in the top five. Pumping my cock while thinking about her lovely eyes, smile, square shoulders, athletic arms, cute ass, wonderful legs, and sexy feet would cause me to produce so much sweet-smelling pre-cum, cause so much pleasure to course through my penis, that much sperm would eventually come shooting from deep in my balls while I orgasmed in intense pleasure!

Her oldest daughter, Alice, eventually became a secondary masturbation muse for me, as she shares her mother’s pretty eyes, nice legs, and beautiful feet.  Jessa Louise’s blonde sister, Joan, who is a few years younger that her, also became my masturbation muse, as she had the same smile and a very sexy ass.  Joan would often giggle when she said hello to me.  I’m guessing it was because she knew how good friends Jessa Louise and I had become, and for her it was a little bit like meeting her big sister’s crush.  Not that Jessa Louise and I had anything but a Platonic relationship, but it was obvious to many that we thought a lot of each other. 

I mostly saw Jessa Louise during the softball season, which runs from April through September. The rest of the year, I only saw her on occasion.  But every once in a while, the phone would ring.  It would be Jessa Louise calling to ask some question or to check in.  We would talk about health, family, sports, vacations.  At Christmas time, we would exchange small gifts.  She would come by my office with some fruits she had canned and I would give her a tin of my wife’s Christmas cookies.

One thing about Jessa Louise is she was very gullible.  Others often had a good time at her expense, leading her on with some outlandish story.  One time, for example, a 50-year-old guest on our sports show had her convinced he played for the local minor league baseball team. We had a laugh at her expense, but as always it was with smiles and laughter.

Basically, our friendship came to an abrupt end when Cammie (another “friend” who you can read about here: https://masturbationisbeautifulblog.blogspot.com/2019/07/cammie-my-nemesis-my-masturbation-muse.html) poisoned our relationship. I was crushed by Jessa Louise’s actions toward me.  It was like having your sister rip your heart out.

Almost eleven years after that whole episode started, my emotions toward Jessa Louise are still quite conflicted. I heard from several people that she had misgivings about joining up with Cammie and wished she had never been a part of that whole drama. I could see how Jessa Louise could be coerced, and I guess Cammie did too.  My masturbation to Jessa Louise came to an end, but years later I occasionally pump my cock to her, especially when I look at my old photos of her, or find new photos on social media.

I never really got to know her husband Steve. He wasn’t into the softball thing so he never came around, and he never came to the TV station when we would tape shows. My wife Cheryl met her a few times at banquets and liked Jessa Louise.  She always appreciated her small gifts at Christmas and knew how much I valued Jessa Louise’s friendship. Most of my good friends are women, so Cheryl knows not to be threatened by that relationship. She also knows what a masturbator I am and probably figured I was wanking to my cute pal on a very regular basis.  I was!!

That day last July, Jessa Louise checked out at the cashier before I was finished speaking with the store manager.  I sneaked a peek at her cute ass sashaying in her shorts as she left the store, hoping I would get another view before she drove away.  I walked out two minutes later.  Jessa Louise had pulled her mask down so I could see that still-gorgeous face. She had put her purchases in the trunk of her white sports car, the same car she was driving 11 years before when we were still friends.  We nearly walked past each other as she returned her shopping cart.  My mask was still up, and I don’t think Jessa Louise recognized me. I was tempted to call out her name, to engage her, but I’m not sure how that would have worked out. Best just to let that lie for a while longer. Besides, I was in a hurry and it looked like she was too.

I walked back to our car at the side of the building where Cheryl was waiting for me.  After we pulled out and got on the road, I saw Jessa Louise pull out behind me.  She followed for a few miles then made a left turn. Judging from what I saw in her grocery basket, she was heading to a July Fourth Weekend party somewhere.

Cheryl and I had lunch at a waterfront restaurant then went home.  I spent the whole time, the whole evening, thinking about Jessa Louise.  Her 56-year-old body still looked as strong and sexy as it did in her 20’s.  That night, I masturbated to her GILFish frame and pretty face, and I remembered how her beauty, sexuality, and friendship led her to be a primary masturbation muse of mine for nearly 18 years.  I felt pangs of regret over a lost friendship, yet when I smelled the sweet scent of my pre-cum and masturbatory semen, I was reminded of how much of a masturbator I am, and what a wonderful muse Jessa Louise was and still can be.

My nudist masturbation excursion on Sanibel Island

 

In the middle of November a number of years back, Cheryl and I were on Sanibel Island in Florida.  It was known then – and to a much smaller degree today – as a place that hosted a “free” or nude beach.  That beach area also had a reputation as a place where masturbators gathered.  I could not wait to slip away from my wife and head to the nude area and see who was there masturbating!

The first day there, I walked west on the beach to an area where trees lined the waterfront.  The beach seemed deserted and the only other people I saw laying on towels appeared to be naked.  I slipped off my trunks and continued walking.  I started playing with my cock and soon was pumping a nice, full erection. No one else was in sight, and it felt good to be nude, in the sunshine, making love to my own penis.

All of a sudden, about 75 feet in front of me, up on a ledge along the beach, this 30-something lady sits up from her beach towel.  She had on a bikini, but she got an eyeful of naked me and my masturbation!

I don’t believe in exposing myself to people who don’t want to watch.  I also did not want to get arrested.  I ducked behind a nearby bush and slipped my shorts back on.  My cock was still bulging, but oh well.  I walked past her and said hello, feeling a little sheepish.  She smiled back and said, “Hi!”  She had on a pink bikini and was really a cute brunette. 

I walked about 150 feet farther down the beach to where the tree line started.  Erosion was causing the trees to fall into the Gulf and there were spaces on the beach between them to place a towel and have a relatively protected area to nude sunbathe.  I turned around and saw that the woman had taken off her top.  I figured she was there for the same reason I was so I tossed down my towel, stripped-off my shorts and sat on the hard-packed sand.

I stretched my legs out in front of me.  My penis, which was still half-erect, began to fully stiffen in the warmth of the Florida sun.  I turned and looked up toward the woman.  Sitting up, she was looking at me with a slight smile on her face.  Did she know what many men do in this area?  Did she want to watch?  I casually reached down and touched my cock, my fingers tracing the underside and the head.  It felt so good!

I glanced her way again after a minute or so.  She was watching and seemed intrigued.  I got bold and put my full fist around my penis and started pumping. I wanted to shout out “I LOVE TO MASTURBATE!”  I didn’t, but I thought how much I enjoyed being watched.  I looked back her way and she was tilting her head, still smiling at me.  I looked at her bare breasts soaking up the warmth of the sun.  Her nipples, even from a distance, seemed nice and pert.  I wondered if she was getting wet.

Soon I exploded in a solo-love orgasm, the sperm shooting up and landing all over my hand, my arm, all over my crotch and my legs.  It felt so good!  I wiped my hand off on my towel and collapsed onto my back, catching my breath.  After a moment, I raised myself on my hands and looked over at my friend in the pink bikini bottom.  Her smile had grown larger.  She gave me a little wave.  I smiled and waved back!  She apparently had enjoyed my show!

I was hoping she might reciprocate but she quickly put her top on, gathered her towel and disappeared.  I sat there for a minute wondering why she hurried off so fast.  Did she get spooked?  Did she realize the Sheriff was nearby and that we were about to be arrested?  Nudity was and is prohibited on the beach, although that doesn’t stop a lot of people.  The Sheriff and police have been known to patrol this area and ticket or arrest people who are nude or engaging in sex acts.

I could hear other people on the beach on the other side of some downed trees to my right.  They were probably nude, and sounded quite rowdy.  It was all male voices, so I surmised it as a gay group.  As I am an equal opportunity masturbator, I considered wandering over there to introduce myself and find a ‘bate buddy or two. 

However, since I had just had an orgasm and was spent for a while, and since my lady friend bolted so suddenly, I decided that maybe I should not push it.  I quickly dressed and left that area.

That was in November of 1999.  A few years later, Hurricane Charley came ashore near there and devastated the beaches.  When we returned to Sanibel a year after the hurricane, the area with the trees had been altered.  The trees were gone and the protection they afforded nude sunbathers went with them. While there were people going nude in that area, there seemed to be a bit of paranoia.  The nudists, now out in the open on the beach, dressed quickly whenever anyone came within a couple hundred yards of them.  The easy-going vibe I encountered a few years before was gone.  Also gone was the chance to masturbate on the beach and meet other masturbators.

We visited again in 2015.  Nothing had changed from the previous trip.  That portion of beach still had no trees like before.  A couple of nude people were up by the dune and grass line, under small scrub trees that had sprung.  That was it.  Newspapers there had stories of people getting arrested for nudity and masturbation; I didn’t want to be one of them, so I kept my shorts on and my masturbatory thoughts in check. 

I still think back to that day twenty-one-years-ago and to that lady who watched me masturbate.  I have thought of that experience numerous times when I masturbate.  I wonder if that topless cutie has done the same!

I masturbate over Donna and a MMF fantasy

This masturbation fantasy is based on people I know.  I’ve changed names.

Donna is one of my best friends. Late 50’s, about 5’3″, Graying hair to her shoulders and brown eyes (she was a brunette until a couple years ago). I love to masturbate to her and have done so for more than 27 years, ever since I’ve known her.

I’ve always had MFM fantasies. About 20 years ago she had this boyfriend, Thompson, early 30’s, about 5’9″, good looking guy. She would always tell me and my wife Cheryl what a big cock he had. They made such a beautiful couple.  Donna had nice, firm breasts, a very sexy ass, cute smile and sexy hips, and I would fantasize about watching them make love.

I was always hoping to do a threesome with them. My fantasy always involved us starting in hetero fashion, me fucking her from behind while she sucks Thompson’s cock, then reverse. Then she sits on his cock reverse cowgirl and begin to fuck. 

At that point, I crawl on my belly up to them and begin licking Donna’s clit as she slides up and down on his cock. She moans as she feels my wet tongue. With all the bouncing going on, my tongue can’t help but touch Thompson’s cock. I taste Donna’s juices as my tongue slides up and down his hard dick. I hear him moan, and realize I’m paying more attention to his big, beautiful, engorged manhood than I am to Donna’s clit. I use a wet finger to massage her clit while my tongue runs up and down Thompson’s shaft. I hear her moan more as he thrusts harder and deeper into her. I love licking the hard cock that my dear friend loves to fuck so much, that gives her so much pleasure.

I take his balls into my mouth and gently suck. I hear him moan more as he thrusts deeper into Donna’s vagina. I continue to finger her clit, and sense they are both about to cum. I have my left arm around Donna’s waist, and my right hand now cups Thompson’s balls. My tongue slides across both her clit and his shaft. She begins to moan, then screams, “I’m cumming!”

I center my tongue as best I can as they fuck. She shudders, gasping in orgasm. She drops back on Thompson’s chest as I tongue her more and he thrusts. “Oh, oh, oh!” She shudders again, then giggles and pushes a hand against my head. “Oh, Tim, no more, oh…” and giggles again.

Thompson is still gently thrusting her, and I realize he hasn’t cum. I gently tighten my grip on his balls with my right hand, and begin working more with my mouth on his shaft and balls. He moans and thrusts up and down, and I can tell that Donna is enjoying the extra thrusting. Her sweet juices are running down Harrison’s cock, and I am greedily licking them up. He thrusts harder and moans more.

Suddenly, Donna slides back a little too far and Thompson’s penis pops out of her vagina, basically slapping me in the forehead! I hear a moan and a squeal from Donna. I quickly run my tongue to the tip, and put the beautiful head of this gorgeous member in my mouth. I’m thinking, “This beautiful cock-head was just so deep inside my lovely best friend, and was bringing her so much pleasure. It’s so big, it was probably pushing against the very deepest insides of her love canal. And now, it’s in my mouth!”

The precum is sweet, especially when mixed with Donna’s love juices. I taste some of Thompson’s semen leaking out. I circle the tip of his penis with my tongue and he wiggles and moans.

When I look up at Donna, she is staring down and her mouth is wide open in amazement. But a smile is coming to her lips, and her hand creeps lower to her crotch. I lower my mouth over the cock, taking it in fully. My tongue is working and Thomspon begins to pump up and down, fucking my mouth. I realize I’m deep-throating him.

Suddenly he begins to buck and moan loudly. His cock begins to shudder, and I feel him begin to spurt. It nearly chokes me, but tastes sweet, especially when mixed with Donna’s juices. I swallow his sperm down as fast as I can. He shoots it so hard into the back of my throat. Thompson screams in pleasure. I savor the taste, and love knowing I have brought Donna’s lover to orgasm.

Soon, the motion of his hips slows. A satisfied moan comes from his lips. His cock is still hard, and my mouth still glides gently up and down it, ever so often sucking hard the remaining drops of his cum from the head. I look up at Donna. She still has a look of shock, but with a wry smile and I notice her fingers working around her clit area.

Another minute goes by, and I’m licking and cleaning Thompson’s genitals, still caressing his balls as I do. He begins to soften and I raise my head. Donna grabs me behind the neck and pulls me up to her. Still sitting on Thompson’s chest, she kisses me and licks the semen that is dripping down my chin. Kissing me hard she guides my body up to hers, leans back on Thompson and slides my very hard erection into her wet vagina. “I love you Tim, you’re my best friend,” she whispers in my ear.

“I love you, too,” I say, as Thompson reaches around with both hands, and helps guide my ass as I fuck his woman.

I think of this often when I masturbate. They both moved on and ended up married to other people.  Donna is still one of my best friends and I masturbate to her a lot.   I know she is a very sexual person, and I wonder if she would get naked with me; as naked as I am now as I masturbate and write this.  I want Donna to join me and masturbate with me while we both fantasize over each other and over Thompson’s cock!

Erotic Dream: Inside my masturbation muse!

I haven’t been in a face-to-face situation with her in nearly two years.  I see her rather often, from a distance. Recently, I passed her on the road. She drove past Cheryl and I a few weeks ago as we sat at a picnic table.  I spotted her on a park bench, with her back to me, as I walked the other side of the street. 

I still think about Cammie often and masturbate to her a lot.  Those few, recent,  in-person images are etched in my brain, as are images of Cammie I come across on social media; old pictures I have of her from when we still spoke; images of her smile, legs, feet cute ass, firm breasts in a tank top from those years that I cannot forget!  I am still infatuated by her MILF/GILF beauty.  I have been infatuated by her beauty since the moment we met nearly 27 years ago. Yes, there were those years after our blowup that I could not masturbate to her; could hardly think of her at all without becoming angry, bitter and full of animosity.  (If you haven’t already, read about Cammie here: https://masturbationisbeautifulblog.blogspot.com/2019/07/cammie-my-nemesis-my-masturbation-muse.html    ) But I have let some of that go.  I am too much of a masturbator to deny the strong pull her masturbatory allure has on me.

I had not had a dream about Cammie in quite a long time, perhaps more than a year.  In most of those dreams, we have somehow forgiven each other and are on friendly terms. Perhaps we are not the buddy-buddies we were, but are civil and end up smiling at each other. In one dream, we may have started to kiss but it was more of a platonic smootch. I wake up and am disappointed that crossing paths with her brings me dread, fear and disappointment on our lost friendship.

In my dream a few nights ago, I was visiting or staying in an apartment somewhere.  I’m not sure why, but it was some kind of vacation rental that belonged to someone I know.  Cammie was there.  I’m not sure if she was staying there the night or there for another reason, but she was there. I saw her collar-length bob, blonde, and tinged with silver, framing her smiling and pretty face.  Her big, round, blue eyes pierced me.  Her sexy 64-year-old body seemed a bit plumper than when I had seen her last, but for a woman her age - for any woman, really – she still looked amazingly sexy.

Cammie and I made small talk; I don’t remember what it was about.  We wound up being in close quarters, and it was unavoidable we touch.  Gently, she rubbed my arm with her hand then drew me closer.  Our bodies touched.  The twinge I was already feeling in my penis grew stronger. My heart pounded.  I was as close, physically, as I had ever been to Cammie in all the years I’ve known her.  My one-time favorite masturbation muse felt warm. I could smell her good feminine smell; perhaps I smelled her pheromones, if that is possible.  My penis stiffened for my beautiful masturbation muse.

Becoming more daring, I leaned over and started kissing Cammie’s neck. She stretched her head to one side to give me more room, and I felt her sigh. She held onto me more tightly then reciprocated her kisses to my arm, then to my neck.

She had been wearing a kind of robe-style dress.  I realized it had come open, and I had a lovely view of her cleavage and her GILF tummy.  I breathed harder as my penis began to yearn for freedom from my pants. Cammie wiggled her shoulders and the robe fell off, revealing her nakedness. I’m not sure how, but my clothes came off easily, and I was proudly naked in front of my erstwhile friend, my erect penis anticipating more pleasure.

Our hands began exploring each other. I felt Cammie’s shoulders, the area around her breasts, her neck, her outer thighs, her cute buttocks, her inner thighs.  She similarly used her fingers and palms to explore me.  Our bodies pressed together, and I could feel the warmth of her thigh against my hard member.  My precum leaked and I felt its smoothness on her skin.  I leaned over again and began kissing her neck, then moved up to her ear.  I kissed and nibbled her right ear, running my tongue gently around the inside. Cammie moaned and moved my hand to her clitoris and vagina.

As my fingers gently swirled on the fleshy mound around Cammie’s clit, she began to moan.  My mouth moved toward hers.  Our lips met, then our tongues began exploring the loving moistness of each other’s mouth.  It was passionate and electrifying as the sexual rush coursed through our bodies.

Cammie moaned louder as I moved a finger to her now sopping vagina.  I moved around the outer lips and gathered her wetness. I gently pushed a finger in to gather more of her juices, then pulled out to pay more attention to her clitoris.  I had almost forgotten about my own pleasure, as I was totally involved in making love to my beautiful muse.

Just then, Cammie finally put her beautiful fingers on my quivering penis.  She gently ran them up and down the length, increasing her hold with every couple of passes.  Touching the wet tip, she gathered some of my precum and began spreading up and down my manhood.  Caressing my balls, she managed to make me harder than I had ever been. We kissed and I moaned:  “Oh Cammie!”

We were doing this on the edge of a large chair or sofa.  In one deft move, Cammie shifted her weight and position, moving me directly on top of her.  With her hand still wrapped around my penis, she guided me toward her love tunnel.  My cockhead rubbed up and down over her lips, and our respective moistures mingled. I looked down at my cock between her legs then back at her big, beautiful blue eyes. Our lips again met and I thrust toward her, just barely penetrating.  Gently I drew back then pushed forward again, repeating this maneuver several times as my penis became coated with more love juices.

Finally, my cock was well-enough lubed.  Cammie’s snatch was even more sopping, and so ready to take the whole of my manhood.  I pushed again and I was all the way in her.  She moaned loudly – more of a scream, really.  We humped each other and pleasure washed over our bodies in tandem. I felt more of my precum leaking into Cammie and could feel her wetness feeding our sexual passion.  I was inside my masturbation muse.  My penis finally was where it was meant to be: Inside Cammie McCullings, the blonde 64 year-old who I have pined for and masturbated over for most of the past 27 years.

Cammie and I fucked and kissed for a while longer as I reveled in the bliss.  Then, as dreams usually go, it got a little bit weird.  I felt like I had cum, but not really.  Our sweaty bodies separated, and Cammie leaned over and kissed me.  My semen oozed out of her vagina and was still dripping from my penis.  The smell was sweet and reminded me so of the many thousands of masturbatory orgasms I have enjoyed over this woman.

Our sexual rendezvous over, we made small talk for a few moments; I do not remember about what.  

Then, I awakened. It was morning and becoming light outside.  My disappointment rose as I realized it had just been a dream, that I had really not fucked Cammie.  I felt down around my crotch.  In my sleep, I had wiggle out of my underwear.  It did not seem I had a full ejaculation, but there was a lot of precum dripping from my penis, and a large pool of the sweet, sexual nectar had accumulated where I lay.

I grabbed a nearby T-shirt and place it under me, then began pumping my cock thinking about Cammie and the dream I just had.  Within moments, a beautiful masturbatory orgasm coursed through my penis and through my whole body as I thought of the lovely Cammie.  Visions of her pretty face framed by her eyeglasses, visions her sexy GILF ass in tight shorts as she walks the streets of the island, of her toned legs, and of her sexy feet that she loves to show off in strappy flip-flops. I thought of those big, pretty, blue eyes, as sperm shot from my penis into the T-shirt.

Cheryl slept through my morning masturbation, or at least she pretended.  She knows how much of a masturbator I am, and she knows how I am infatuated with masturbating to Cammie.  Living with a masturbator like myself for 23 years, she figures these things out pretty easily.

As disappointing as it was to realize I had not fucked Cammie, I was jazzed that the dawn wank I had over her felt so good and produced so much beautiful and sweet semen.  It reminded me that warm weather is just around the corner.  I am hoping to see Cammie soon in her tank-top and shorts and flip- flops, providing me with some masturbatory visions and moments.

Oh Cammie, I am SUCH a masturbator for you!

Lauren: My Friend, My Lover

I was a sophomore in college when I met Lauren. She was a freshman, away from home for the first time. We began dating that fall. Sexually, I was still very inexperienced. I had never had sexual intercourse up to that point. In fact, I had never gone farther with a girl than making out. Masturbation was my only release and sometimes I wondered if I would ever feel the intimate touch of a female. (I was definitely a late bloomer in this department!)

Things would change with Lauren. She was about 5’10” with rather long brunette hair. She had a smoldering brown gaze and the cute figure of an 18-year-old. Lauren was just as sexually inexperienced as I but we would soon progress from kissing to manual stimulation. Feeling her pretty fingers around my stiff penis was so wonderful. Coating them with my creamy semen was even better. I love the feeling of my masturbation but the warmth of a female hand at that time was unequaled.  

After we dated for about six weeks, I decided I needed to try oral sex. I wiggled Lauren out of her tight pants and went down on her with only the knowledge of what I had read in Penthouse or heard from the guys. The smell was sweet, the taste of her juices even better. My tongue swirled around her clitoris and I could feel it hardening as she moaned and squirmed with pleasure. I pursed my lips around her clit, feeling her orgasm. When she finished, I pulled myself up to her and we kissed long and deep. I didn’t ask her to reciprocate, thinking that would come when she was ready.

I ate Lauren out several times and finally coaxed her into sucking me. She didn’t know what to do and asked me how. I pretended like I knew and gave her some instruction.

“What do I do when you cum?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Swallow it, I guess.”

She sucked my penis like a pro. At least to a virgin who had never been sucked before, she felt like a pro. I came in her mouth and she sucked and swallowed my sperm down her pretty, long throat.

Lauren and I broke up not long after that. I was crushed. I would masturbate, pretending my hand was Lauren’s. It wasn’t the same, of course. We went to a small college so we saw one another nearly every day, which was kind of tough. Time went by. I found other girlfriends and lost my virginity. Lauren dated a couple of other guys, lost her virginity and actually gained a reputation as a bit of a slut. I remember feeling empty that she was fucking these other guys but not me.

Gradually, Lauren and I became good platonic friends. There was a bit of an edge to our relationship, something like unfinished business lurking underneath. We never acted on it until my senior year.

It was January of 1982. I lived in a basement apartment a few blocks from campus. Students were just arriving back for the start of the second semester, and a huge snowstorm was bearing down on our college town. It was the Sunday before classes started and students seemed to be late returning, probably due to the weather. I went over to Lauren’s on-campus apartment to see if she had arrived from Boston.

“Hey, I’m glad you are here,” she exclaimed when she answered the door. “I was just thinking of coming over to see you!”

We hugged hello like old friends do, but I’m sure the same thoughts were going through our minds. Before we left for Christmas break, I had been over to Lauren’s apartment studying. We had a beer, and Lauren decided she should give me a back-rub. It got pretty hot and I thought we might “do it” that night, but I left with a huge boner and a wink from my pretty brunette pal. Feeling her hug, smelling her hair as we embraced in her doorway reminded me of that unfinished business.

“My roommates are going to be loud,” she said. “Let’s get a bottle of wine and some cheese and go over to your place.”

How could I not agree? Even if we didn’t end up fucking, I still loved spending time with a young woman who had become almost like a sister to me. How could I not want to hear her tell her silly college-girl stories, and gaze at that smile and hear her laugh at my jokes?

We walked to a liquor store, then over to my place. The snow had started coming down harder, and it was good to get into someplace warm. We tossed our coats on my bed and sat in the front room and cracked open the wine and the cheese, talking and laughing nonstop for more than an hour. We were getting a bit of a buzz on.

Outside, the snow was piling up against the basement window. Lauren laughed. “Looks like I might get snowed-in here!”

We laughed uncontrollably!

I wasn’t in love with her romantically, but like you love your best friend. However, that night I felt that sexual urge; that longing for her that I had contained for more than two years.

I don’t remember what it was, but for some reason at that point Lauren bent down from her chair to pick something up or do something with her shoe. When she did, her hand hit something under the chair. That “something” was a stack of girlie magazines I had stashed there.

Let me add that even back then I was a huge masturbation freak. I had been having sex with a couple of girlfriends by that point in my life but I still loved the feel and thrill of my auto-erotic experiences. Nothing has really changed from then to now, but back then I never shared it with anyone. Today, I love being open about my sexuality and my masturbation. I love sharing it with my wife and with other close friends and people I meet online, and it doesn’t embarrass me a bit. However, at age 21 I was too timid about my sexuality and feared anyone finding out how much I pleasured myself and how much I enjoyed it. I feared I was the only one in the world doing it and would be a pariah if discovered.

“What’s this?” Lauren exclaimed as she pulled the stack of mags from under the chair.

“Uh….Uh….” I stammered. “Just some magazines I was reading.”

Lauren pulled out several issues of Playboy, a Penthouse and a few other lesser-known titles.

“Reading, huh?” she said as she gazed at me with this surprised but wickedly beautiful smile. “Mmmm. Let me see what you are reading.”

I felt my face redden and I wanted to run from the room. At the same time, I felt a hardening in my crotch and an excitement through my whole body now that my best female pal was discovering my intimate secret. She seemed amused and intrigued, not shocked and disgusted I might have feared.

We started going through one of the Playboys. I must stay, all jokes aside, that I DID and still do read Playboys for the articles; some of the best writing in the English language. Lauren studied the articles and said: “They write some really interesting stuff. A girl can like this.”

We got to the centerfold. “Wow, she’s pretty but she’s HUGE,” Lauren exclaimed as she looked at Miss January, 1981 Karen Price’s foldout. “All these girls have huge boobs.” 

Lauren had put me at ease but there was still excitement in the air. Then, it got more interesting. She went to turn the next page but it was stuck to another. She ripped them apart, making a rather loud and noticeable noise. One of my masturbation sessions had resulted in the “sticky page” situation that guys joke about. As the sound of the paper separating echoed around my living room, Lauren looked at me with a faux-cross expression.

“Mm Hmm. I see.” A sly smile barely creased the corners of her mouth as our eyes locked.

I felt myself turning even redder. She went back to perusing the magazine then picked up another. When she got to a pictorial, she again had to rip the cum-stuck pages apart.

“Mmmm Hmmm.” She looked at me once again with her fake look of dismay, her pretty smile a little bigger. Lauren wasn’t fazed by discovering my spattered masturbatory cum, and it was exciting to realize this. We went through several more magazines together, finding several more stuck pages. Her giggles at discovering my masturbation habit weren’t mean; they sounded joyful. Here, through girly magazines on a snowy night, we were really getting to know one another even better by sharing this intimate secret.

We talked about the articles in the magazines for a while until that became boring. Finishing our wine, we were both very tipsy. Conversation stalled for a few seconds. Lauren looked to the window, now almost covered by snow.

“I don’t think I should go anywhere in this.”

“I don’t think you should either.”

Our eyes locked. Lauren grabbed my hand and we both stood. Quickly, she led me into to my bedroom. We stood a couple of feet apart looking into each other’s eyes. She started stripping first and I quickly followed. In a moment, we were both naked. I took a step toward her and we embraced and kissed, my erect penis pressing into her warm, taught abdomen. 

I led her to my bed, pushed away our coats, and we lay on top of the sheets. I had fantasized about this moment for a couple of years. Lauren, now one of my best friends, was finally in my bed. I was about to fuck her. How could this go wrong?

Well, as most of us guys find out sometime, too much anticipation, nervousness, and eagerness to please can ruin such a moment. My erection slowly faded. Efforts to get him back were futile.

“That’s OK,” said Lauren, a clearly discernible measure of resignation in her voice. “Nothing would have happened anyway.”

I wanted to cry. How frustrating. Lauren pulled me close to her naked body and pulled the covers over us. She embraced me and kissed my cheek. The feel of her hands, her lips, her legs intertwined with mine brought me comfort. The sound of her breathing took me to another place. It was only a minute or two, but this moment of comfort had relieved my anxiety. I felt my penis hardening, filling with pleasure.

“Lauren,” I whispered, placing her hand on my member.

By the dim light shining through the window, I could see her smile widen. Her lovely fingers gripped my penis as if to offer her reassurance that it was stiff and ready to penetrate her moist folds. We kissed and began to again fondle one another. There was no turning back. Our tongues investigated each other’s mouth. My fingers rubbed her mound then discovered her moist slot. I used her moisture to prepare her clitoris then rubbed the region around her pulsing love button. Her fingers caressed my testicles as my penis throbbed and quivered above it.

“Let me grab a condom,” I said as I reached over toward the nightstand.

Lauren grabbed my arm. “Timmy,” she said firmly. “I’m on the pill.”

I let that hang there for a second. What a beautiful thing to hear! I smile at her and our lips met. We continued our prelude of foreplay. I positioned myself between her legs. On my knees, I aimed my hard penis toward her wet and waiting vagina. Lauren’s slender fingers ran up and down my member, then squeezed and helped me aim. I felt the head rub her outer lips. I pressed and gently slid into her. I lay on my friend and our tongues again became entwined. We moved in rhythm as the pleasure and passion swept us. I’m not sure how long we went, but it was a while. Lauren on top then me on top; on our sides.

Finally I felt Lauren reaching an orgasm. She shuddered and her vagina became incredibly wet, gripping my penis and squeezing it as if to ask for all of its semen. I soon gave it to her, bucking and shuddering as my seed was spurted deep into her wet womb. My ex-girlfriend, my dear pal and study partner was taking my cum inside her and appeared to be loving it. I loved giving it to her. We curled up together and soon fell asleep in each other’s arms as the snow swirled outside. Overnight, we awoke and aroused each other and fucked a couple more times, each one as good as before.

When morning came, we awoke and looked at each other. The wine had worn off but not our affection for each other. We smiled and then both laughed. We kissed each other on the cheek, then on the mouth and embraced! It was joyful.

Walking back to campus that morning, we got word that classes had been canceled because of the snow and ice. I got Lauren back to her apartment and we embraced long and hard at the door.

“That was wonderful. I’m so glad I stayed with you last night,” she whispered in my ear.

“I am, too”

Although I kind of hoped we might do it again, it was the last time we had sex. Lauren remained my good friend through college. A few years after I graduated, she came to visit me when she was in my area. We went to dinner, went dancing and then went to my home. Lauren slept on the couch.

When she left the next day, we embraced in my driveway. Giving me a long goodbye gaze, she said: “I always miss you so much. I’m so glad I came to see you.”

“I’m glad, too.”

I wanted to add “I love you”, because I did and I do. I didn’t say it, though. It might have been over the top. Our eyes and smiles and the touch of our hands said it.

In letters to each other, we usually closed with “Love, Tim,” and “Love, Lauren”. She wrote me after she got back home: “I keep thinking of you in that red sweater,” the sweater I had worn the previous weekend. That said “I love you.”

I love you, my friend, my lover, my sister.

Time went by, and we fell out of touch. Scant news would reach me from mutual friends. When the Facebook era arrived, we found one another. No big reunion. Married with two children and another life, she is occupied and so am I. I seldom go to New England, she almost never comes south. An infrequent poke on Facebook was our only contact for a few years. She hasn’t posted there in years. Her children are well into their teens,perhaps 20 by now.  Busy with life, I suppose. Aren’t we all?

Writing this has reminded me of our warm friendship and our sexual discovery. I learned to not be so afraid of my sexuality and learned that sharing is exciting and beautiful. It’s especially beautiful with a dear friend. I’m going to masturbate thinking of Lauren tonight. I am going to think of that 20-year old I held and laughed with. I’m going to think of her discovering my masturbation secret, of her sharing her warm, moist and sexy body. I will think of her friendship so long ago.

I don’t know if Lauren masturbates and sometimes thinks of me but if she does, I think she will be wearing the same wonderful smile as I.